Losing faith in the human race
Thursday, September 25th, 2008
by 
badr
Amikolle’s Mom;
I am writing to you, to inform you and your husband, that I have changed your names in the writings in my blog, to something else.
As I heard your husband yelling to Amikolle, that he wanted to sue me for Defamation of Character, I was wondering why since I had not written anything ill about neither of you. My writings are a telling of a story, that is real and has touched and affected my life as much as yours, and it is a story told from my experiences. If you think that you don’t want to be part of that story because it degrades your status of what the world can read, that is different. Nevertheless just to be clear, here is the Definition of Defamation of Character, in case your husband wants to go on and sue me, so he doesn’t waste time and money that he could put willingly into his daughter’s recuperation and medical help:
In law, defamation (also called calumny, libel, slander, and vilification) is the communication of a statement that makes a false claim, expressly stated or implied to be factual, that may give an individual, business, product, group, government or nation a negative image. Slander refers to a malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report, while libel refers to any other form of communication such as written words or images. Most jurisdictions allow legal actions, civil and/or criminal, to deter various kinds of defamation and retaliate against groundless criticism. Related to defamation is public disclosure of private facts which arises where one person reveals information which is not of public concern, and the release of which would offend a reasonable person.” Unlike libel or slander, truth is not a defence for invasion of privacy.
As the definition stands, I never represented your names in a malicious manner, which if I had, would be Slander. If I had printed my blog to a print media format, it would have been Libel. My writings are my memories living the experience that has been loosing and recovering Danielle when she has gone out. As the definition above dictates (taken from the maryland library of law, and from Lexis Nexis, the general bible of Lawyers), truth is not a defence for invasion of privacy means that you can’t accuse me of invasion of privacy because I was writing about the truthful events surrounding the disappearance and recovery of your daughter, and naming places or people that participated in it.
That being said, I have removed your name and your husband from my blog. I wanted to advice you, that I didn’t do it for neither of you, I did it so you don’t scream anymore to your daughter. This is the same exact behavior you said it wouldnt happen when she was in recovery. On a last note, I said good morning to your husband today, and he failed to mention any of this. Next time if you both have a problem, call me and scream at me in the phone, dont take it off on your daughter.
I am copying your daughter on this email. Please do not scream at your daughter or take it out on her, this is not her doing, this letter is from me to you and your husband, anything you have to argue, scream or discuss with me, do it to my attention.
Thank you for reading and have a good day.
Gilbert Palau
Amikolle’s Fianceé
PS. We are getting married on October 10th 2008, with or without your blessing, and I will be writing about it.
Monday, September 22nd, 2008
by badr
So hey when Amikolle, was in the hospital, and loneliness was creeping in, I was trying to make new friends, so I could hang out and not get insane, bored or start rationalizing. So I have met a couple of people who are cool, and have friend potential. One of them is this chick, code named Biggles. She is the female version of Officer Hightower in Police Academy. So at first she was sympathetic and talking to me, listening to my frustrations and what not, then her Granma went south, you know kissed the dirt, bought the farm, pushed the lilies. Note: Her granma, looked to be the nicest person, and I felt genuinly sorry for her loss, more so that her grand daughter is on the wild and she could use more advice. So Biggles, was interested in making a move to me, but I am clear, I love Danielle, and I don’t need to cheat or have an affair to survive my crisis. So I nicely said, hey lets be friends and lets chill. So the chick, starts changing her attitude with me, but I am thinking its nothing, probably PMS, you never know this days. One day I called her to talk and what not, and she asked me politely, that she didnt want to talk to me, because she was still sad and whiny, so I hang up. One week passed by, and I see her online and said, “Hi, are you feeling better now?”, she was like, “yeah, I just didn’t want to talk to you, because you were not the right person, some schmuck called me and he was a better conversation, and now we are dating and fucking (well sort off because she is a virgin, and being that tall you can see why…), so I am like, well good for you.
I’m like well screw that, who needs a person who portraits herself as a super nice person and ends being this megalomaniac gigantor woman from hell.
Not me.
So today, I get this message on my yahoo messenger:
” <biggles808402>: i have a lot of guy friends…i honestly dont need another…no disrespect to you, but now im being honest”
Well, Biggles808402, this is me being honest to you:
This is me, being honest.
Thursday, September 18th, 2008
by badr
So yesterday I am standing as usual on the train station waiting for the freaking train to arrive and hoping I can have a seat, since I hate standing, for 20 minutes. My train passes by, and the front car is nearly empty, so I dashed out to catch it. I did, but in the process of running like a gazelle, with the grace of an elephant, my work issued phone, flew out my phone carrier, landing on the ledge and bouncing down to the tracks.
I ended up waiting an 1hr, until rush time was over, so that someone could stop a train, walk into the operator cabin, open a small hatch, step into the track and pickup my damn phone. The entire operation took less than 5 minutes. Bravo for the MTA!!
Thursday, August 21st, 2008
by badr
Anoche sali con unos amigos a buscar el carro de Danielle. En menos de 5 minuos entrando al bajo mundo de Baltimore di con el.
Me baje de mi carro y corri hacia el de ella. Trate de abrir su puerta y la tranco, le exiji que me diera mi ID y “Trainpass”, y cuando bajo la ventana para darmelo entre en un forcejeo con la addiccion de Danielle, y logre quitarle las llaves. Ella me decia, “Porque vienes a buscarme, yo me quiero quedar aqui, no me gusta lo que soy y me quiero destruir…” Yo le pedi que me diera “closure” que yo necesiaba hablar con ella y si ella queria volver que lo hiciese despues que yo hablara con ella. Al final accedio y se monto en el carro, sin antes un bichote venir hacia el coche de ella, a hacerse el frontu… Pero no entremos en esos detalles, uno de los dos acabo jodio y el otro esta escribiendo en este blog.
Se que muchos de ustedes pensaran, Pendejo, dejala y no la busques mas. Pues si yo me voy a dejar de ella, pero no la voy a dejar en ese estado, porque no fue ahi donde yo la fui a recojer la primera vez que tuvimos nuestro primer date.
Anoche no era el momento para hablar. Hoy voy a dormir. Se que estoy poniendo en riesgo mi nuevo trabajo, pero ella este aqui o no, yo hoy necesitaba mi espacio y mi pausa, para finalizar ciertos cabos sueltos que aun quedan.
Mañana me reporto a mi trabajo. Esto es una emergencia porque no es por ella, sino por mi que estoy cansado y no puedo pensar claro.
Volviendo al tema, cuando miro en la cama veo el cuerpo de Amikolle como la sabana se levanta con su respirar, tan linda mi nena, pero en su interior esta el monstruo de la adiccion, planeando cuando va a ser su proxima movida. Debido a esto y a que no hay nada que yo pueda hacer para hacerle cambiar es que nuestra relacion tiene fin. Yo podre ser su amigo? Yo se que debo tener cuidado con eso, porque mis sentimientos hacia ella son fuertes.
Pero de algo estoy seguro, aunque la ame, no confio en ella, se que no es Amikolle la del problema, pero su enfermedad, sin embargo no confio en Amikolle porque no es quien de hacerle frente a su enfermedad, y no tengo seguridad de que ella vaya a salir adelante y nosotros podamos ser felices.
Yo voy a hablar con ella esta noche, luego de su meeting de NA, y le voy a dar 3 dias para que tome decision de lo que quiere hacer. Si una de sus decisiones es regresar a Baltimore y morirse usando pues ella es adulta y sabe lo que tiene que hacer. Si esa es su decision, yo decidire pensar que mi Amikolle, fallecio y no esta aqui con nosotros mas, y continuare con mi vida.
No hay mas nada que yo pueda hacer.
Thursday, August 14th, 2008
by badr
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