I found her!

Saturday, August 23rd, 2008
by badr

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I would like to first start this post with the following information, so you all have an idea of how monumental this is.  In the city of Baltimore there are around 645,000 (645 thousand) people that live there.  60,000 of them are addicts.  I was able to rescue 1.

Well I picked up her brother at his house in Federal Hill, from there we drove down to the “usual place” which is Ramsey Ave. and Parkish St.  I parked like any puertorican driver could park, in the middle of the street.  Shortly after {expletive deleted} and {expletive deleted} came down one of the streets and we must have talked for like 5 minutes before a Public Bus driver (God bless his heart), started honking his horn (his bus horn) and I had to move my car.  I went around a block and came back and as I was heading back from afar I see a girl that looks like Amikolle.  Blood moves to my foot and I press on the Jetta, and when I get closer I see its Amikolle with some black dude walking behind her.  I park the car in the puertorican fashion again, but I don’t give a shit, I slided through the trunk of the car and grabbed her by the arm and told her “Thank God I found you…”, again the person that greeted me was the Addict, not Amikolle.  The Addict wanted to stay in Baltimore and wanted and demanded to leave her there, and I told her she was coming with me the nice way or the bad way but she was coming home.

Amikolle was not in control from her mind, she tried to push away from me and I restled her and she was hiding something from my view but I didn’t care.  At a point I thouht she was going to run away, I needed help.  her brother, {expletive deleted} and {expletive deleted} had stayed behind fixing the flat tire in Carol’s G35, and they were around 500 feet from where I was.  Because my intervention was loud bums and drug addicts in the area were starting to get nervous, but I didn’t care, I know at any moment anyone could have try and do something stupid, but all I cared was I found Amikolle and she was coming with me one way or another.

I barely let her go and I was calling with all my lungs to her brother to come over, finally after a few screams, he saw me and ran back to us.  I kneeled down and after some convincin she showed me what she had in her hand, it was a crack pipe.  When she dropped it to the ground I smashed it with my foot.

I don’t know if any of you have heard, but there is a quote from Nietzche that reads, “If you look deep into the abyss, the abyss will look back at you…”  I looked into Amikolle’s eyes, past the cloud of her Addicted self and I went deep into that hole in I spoke to the woman I love.  And its true, I love her with all my heart, as much as it hurts me see her like that, I can see she is not the one doing this, but an effect of her disease.  I told her how I wanted her to come to our home, how Uzume our pet Guinea Pig missed her, and how the house was empty without her prescence.  I told her how her brother, who still doesnt understands the mechanics of Drug Addiction, wanted to put that aside and look at it from another perspective to pull her out because he loved her very much as well.  I told her of a bunch of our friends were concerned for her too, and little by little I was smashing down her dark self and out coming the light of Amikolle.

As soon as she was in the car, I drove like a bat out of hell, out of Baltimore County, still there were traces of her Addict and she told me she was still mad I had driven to find her.  I parked the car to the curb and asked her, “If instead of you being the addict, it was me or your brother, would you come also looking for us?” She nodded as tears fell of her face, “Yes I would, you are right…”

So we drove home, she took a shower, her medicines, went to a meeting, and now she is knocked out sleeping.  She looks so peaceful when she sleeps.  I really wish with all my heart, that she is able to recover this time.

Tomorrow, we have an “agenda” and she might have some friends come over and talk to her.  She will be staying at her parents house during the week, and she has to make several calls to see where she can do her rehab time.

As for me, I am going to sleep.  I am so tired.

Thanks for everyone who kept me company in their thoughts, their prayers, their tweets, im’s and phone calls.

I will update more during the week.

Note: I had to edit my GF’s name and remove her last name because her parents threw a tiff over the phone, as to how I have related their fucking last name with the illness of her daughter.  They are more interested in public image than in the recovery of her daughter.  I did it only so that Amikolle doesnt get their shit anymore.  Fucking Assholes.  From now on, I will mention them in my writings as {expletive deleted} or her ‘rents’ (after my pissing off passes away).

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