Hello, my name is Keylani…

Sunday, June 15th, 2008
by badr

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Hello all!

My name is Keylani and I am a 7yr old Autistic girl.  This is how a typical morning went for me.  I was 4yrs old:

I awaken to pull out own hair and eat it, I defecate and play with own feces, spread it all over walls, mattress, mirrors, doors
proceed to eat portions of diaper, I grab doll, chew on dolls fingers and hair, I grab book, pull out pages, chew on book.
lick the walls, eat plaster and paint.  … it’s not even 6AM yet.  When mom wakes up, she will not know what awaits her today, until she opens the door to my room to find me in my closet covered in my own waste from head to toe again, and again drag me to the bathroom. I don’t like the feeling of soap on my hair or the towel on my skin as she bathes me so I will fight her with every bit of strength I have. I don’t like water or soap on my hair!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!. I scream, I kick, I cry… Mom cries with me. She is tired. She soothes me, telling me she wants me to be clean and happy and healthy and pretty. I don’t care. I don’t want soap in my H A I R. She begins to sing, and doesn’t seem to care I am punching her.  It is 6:45 AM.

I run downstairs. Mommy is mumbling something or other. I go under the dining room table. I am safe. I flap my arms and wave my hands in front of me. It sooths me to see the patterns that emerge. 10 fingers become 30 as I wave them back and forth rapidly.

OOOOOOOOHHHHHHOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH WWWWHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

I am bouncing in place. I know I am supposed to be upset but I don’t know why. I am overcome by the sense I should be doing something. I spot a book on the couch. I run over. It looks interesting. I rip the cover off. I munch on it. I don’t swallow. I stick the mush on my hair. I do this about three times. In the meantime, I am ripping apart the pages of the book, careful to notice the sound of the paper tearing. The pattern the break leaves. The size of the paper, so the next one is nearly the same size. It is hard to be precise. I am only 4 years old. Out of nowhere, I hear “KEILANI!!!!!!!! NOOO!!!!”.  Here she comes. I am faster. I run back under the dining room table. I am safe.

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