“Is this the police?”

“Yeah what you want?”

“Hi. I found a phone. It was working and I logged into facebook and everything; but now it’s just dead.”

“What’ you want son? Haven’t got all night here.”

“Well I was thinking that you should send a car and open an investigation to return it to its rightful owner. I don’t want to be called a thief or anything.”

“Hold on a sec. Charlie! CHAAAARLIIEE! Come here hear this one!”